Crazy World of Motherhood

"Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard." - Coldplay

I created this blog two years back when I was going crazy taking care of my new born, therefore I chose the name "Crazy World Of Motherhood". At that time, I was hoping to share my plight with other mothers through this blog, but I could never take time out of my crazy schedule in pursuit of becoming a Perfect Mother (does such a thing even exist?), to write anything.

But I guess it's never too late to share ones thoughts. Kabir was born in Nov. 2007. I was all set to take motherhood head-on and had finished reading "What to Expect in the First Year" much before he was born. You can ask me any detail pertaining to the first year of Kabir's life and I would be able to answer everything accurately, with footnotes and in 3 dimension; but ask me anything else from the time period between Nov 2007 till year end of 2008 - and you'll have me stumped there. Everything else happening in this world at that time is a brown blur. I don't know of any movies that released, don't know of any popular songs, don't even know of any news that made headlines (thank God that at least the 1st T20 World Cup happened in Sept. 2007!). My crazy days were filled with "what's he going to do next?" or "what's he going to eat/drink next?" or "wow, look at that new expression! where's the camera?", etc. etc.

The most bizarre thing I felt post few months of delivery was that most of my senses felt just a bit weaker. I know it sounds weird but really I think that a little bit of my sense of hearing, smell, taste and sight was taken away by my baby. And I continue to feel the same even now, though currently I'm at my healthiest and fittest best.

There were of course a lot of days when I was low, down and out largely owing to the fact that I was tied down. But it's difficult to be sad and wear a long face when your child is all smiles or laze around when your child is in need of something. So I had to pretend to be happy and active. And at that moment pretension became my reality! My moods were no longer MY moods. Isn't it funny how that little being is in complete control of your emotions?

I have not cried or been overwhelmed with so many emotions all at the same time in my entire life. He stretched his arms towards me for the first time. I cried. He had eyes only for me in a room full of people. I cried. Laughed out loud for the first time. I cried. Managed to crawl. This time I didn't cry but was overcome with joy. Said "mmm aa mmm aa" the first time. I cried again!! Totally crazy!

Then of course there were those days - having to administer medicines every few hours, cleaning the puke filled with the smell of those medicines, my own clothes constantly smelling of curdled milk, my craving for 4 hours of sleep at a stretch, feeding constantly (in my case it was bottle, nonetheless it was tiring). I think cleaning poop is easy and is most over rated of all chores!

Kabir recently turned 3. There have been some crazy times in his 2nd and 3rd year of his growing up as well but nothing compares to the first year. Having said that, I will still not exchange that period for any thing else in this world. It has been the craziest yet the happiest time of my life.